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6/11/2007

Hello all! I have certainly missed visiting everyone, and now I've been gone so long that I hardly know where to begin.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer... ours is way too hot here already. The worst part about that is the grass we've been trying to grow. With watering bans on and the weather so hot and no rain... it all adds up to baby grass that can't survive, and older grass that is brown and withering. Our brambles don't seem to have suffered at all though! They're just thriving and growing wherever they can... B keeps poisoning them, but I think he's just killing the tops because it seems for each one he kills two more spring up brand new. UGGGGH! I'm afraid it's rather a losing battle, and poor B is just wasting his time, but I have to admire his determination.

Yes, we are IN the house now. After zillions of delays, we ended up being able to get into the house about a week after mom got here. She opted to stay in the house before there was electric on, rather than stay over at my girlfriends house. I don't blame her much... she wanted to be relaxed and comfortable and staying at my girlfriends house would have entailed listening to her "problems"... of which she always has many, and entertaining her daughter, who is always full of questions and needs to be the center of attention... if she's not, she gets "sick"... mostly the fault of the mama though because she completely gives in to that... even encourages it. Though mom likes them both, and knows them almost as long as I do, she needed this trip to be relaxing.

My moms visit was wonderful. It was so nice having her around again... having someone who's positive all the time, who compliments me and builds me up all the time. I got so used to that for so long that I suppose I was spoiled. We did everything together - she spent time with me at work, and we talked a lot... I really miss that.

You know, I've realized lately that most of my life has been really priviledged. Yeah, I've had the childhood abuse and the alcoholic parents and the completely co-dependent life... I've made terrible choices in relationships, and I've left myself open time and time again to be used and taken advantage of. The thing is though, I was happy most of the time. I found joy in all the good stuff and poo poohed the bad... I didn't let the bad stuff rule my life. I stayed away from the negative news and papers, knowing the ugliness existed, but not feeling like I needed to steep myself in it... what was the point?

I've always been the type of person to do anything I could to help people... my family first, and then anyone who needed it... whoever I saw that looked sad, I'd smile and talk to them... if they pushed me away then I left them alone, but most of the time people respond to kindness and interest in them, and just having someone to listen, to give them a positive outlook on life makes a huge difference. I've always believed that if more people took interest... not to be nosy or push their views on another... but a genuine interest in that other person who crosses their path... if more people put forth just the tiniest effort to listen to another human being, this world would be 100 times better than it is now.

Well, enough philosophizing. I was saying I believe I've been rather priviledged in my life. I think it's because I refused to delve into the negative of this world and concentrated only on the good and the happy... my heart was always full and my head was not filled with sad things. I was always called a "dreamer"... well, yeah, I suppose I have been. Believing in the good rather than the evil of people... believing in the positive outcome of any situation if you put positive energy into it, rather than dwelling on what "could go wrong"... believing in love, real, forever lasting, both parties giving to the other, both parties caring enough about the other to put them first... as the Bible says, to treat one's spouse as you would treat yourself... even better.

My family didn't do anything to burst my happy bubble... neither of my first two husbands did either (I now realize after looking back)... they protected me from the ugly of the world... they humored me in my beliefs. The reason I know this now, is that my current husband doesn't do that. B is a realist.. .he has almost no immagination whatsoever, and because his life has always been hard, he has a hard outlook on life. He fills his head with shows like "Cops" and "Dog the Bounty Hunter" and all kinds of news and other "reality" tv shows... it's almost all he watches besides sports... sports of any kind. I've always watched shows that were family oriented... sit-coms and romantic comedies, sci-fi or fantasy... happy things. I've never liked war movies or scary movies... things that end sadly.

I'm realizing all this, and I'm working on removing the negativity again. If B wants to fill his head with it all, then more power to him... I don't think he can ever be as happy as I will though. I'm not watching that stuff with him anymore... even if it means I spend less time with him... I'll go into another room and watch something positive, or get on the computer, or do some crafts or something. I LOVED my mentality before... I was happy in my separation from the ugly... and I am happiest when I can believe that the little bit I can do to help whoever I may come into contact with actually makes a difference somehow. I know it does, because sometimes, years later, someone will stop me and tell me what a difference I've made for them... how my helping them made a real impact. I think that's a wonderful thing, and I want to continue to be that way... no matter what the odds are... if I try with 100 people and only one smiles back... it doesn't matter... perhaps someone will remember me saying hello to them and smiling in the grocery store line, and they'll smile later in the day rather than frown. That's enough.

Heavens! How did I get on this track? Back to updating.

Mom helped B and I move all our stuff into the house... thank goodness I'd packed really well... hardly anything was broken. I lost my huge Thanksgiving platter with the grapes and vines designes, and the giant bowl that matched it, but other than that I think everything made it... oh, one of my Christmas wine glasses broke too... but I still have 11 good ones, so I think I'm ok.

Most of the stuff is put away into closets and cabinets now... I'll have to take pictures of it and show everyone... it really is a nice house, despite the things the "builder" didn't do properly. We notice things all the time, and we basically have to shrug it off... otherwise we would walk around unhappy all the time, and B is so happy it's hard to do that.

B does things around the property nearly every day. He works, and he comes home and works in the yard, or does laundry, or sometimes sits and watches his programs. I just got him a big lounge chair for fathers day, and he's in love with it... even had me put a cover over it so it "wouldn't get dirty from the animals"... he didn't think of that before, with regard to my couches... hmmmm. I'm kidding, I think it's cool that he's so into the house and the improvement of it .... whatever he can do himself.

Our porches ARE unlevel, but not as much as they look... actually it's the house that's not level either, so the two combine to make a really sad looking result that looks WAY off level to the naked eye... part of it IS optical illusion (as David suggested)... however, B has put lattice around the bottom of the porches and pretty stones all along the bottom at the ground, which makes them look nicer. He's tended the lawn as best as he can... has hired a couple of guys to come around when they have time and help him clear out the brambles and underbrush beneath the trees along the front and edges of the property (well the cleared part anyway).

Things are coming along very nicely... I'm still convinced that because this house was put on "created" land... they took down part of the hill on one side and built up the ground from the steep slant to a level place for the house and back yard, but they didn't leave it AT ALL to weather and settle... so I'm sure that at some time, if not this year then next, we'll end up VERY unlevel, or with a sink hole somewhere... somehow this land is going to settle and I'm a bit worried about it when it does... B says we'll worry about that when it happens... uh... ok (when we feel a big WHOOSH and then are tossed from our beds one dark night and all of a sudden we feel a huge THUD along with the sound of crunching house, he'll HAVE to address it then - he'll have to figure out a way to get the house back up the hill... if there's any flat place left to put it on).

I'm going to go now and put more stuff away... I actually have 8 hours off today (Imagine that!), so I'm trying to make the best of it. I'll do my best to get back and update some more. There's still (1) puppy news, (2) car news, (3) My Aunt Merce moving here news, (4) my cousin Pio moving here... and THAT's a story!, (5) new stuff with B and his job, (6) updates on mom, (7) updates on my friend from Columbus, GA... and of course all kinds of silly stuff that I somehow seem to find important enough to write about.

Thank you all for continuing to check on me and for showing interest in what's going on in my life... I promise I'll try to get round to visit you all very soon. I've attached some pictures of the inside and outside of the house before it was ready for us to move in... early stages after delivery. I'll try to take some more now that I have furniture in there and the foundation is solid and pictures are on the walls.

12:54 PM | Blog it | Life's Hiccups

Comments (13)

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	Cynical Psychologistwrote: I'm still around, so if you return to blogging, be sure to drop by. Blogging or not, I hope all is going well in your life. Apr. 1
	Barbwrote: Hi Edie! :-) Yeah, I know...long time since I wandered over to check out the news. Shame on me! I am so happy you're in the new house and getting settled (in more ways then one lol) Don't worry about the unlevels...maybe it will settle so it levels up instead! It looks wonderful! I love the bank of windows in your front room, and the kitchen...well, looks a heck of a lot more inviting then the one I have to face every day. :-) You must be dancing on air to be out of the office and into your own private oasis. I'm glad your mom was able to be there for the move and you had someone to not only help, but to enjoy the experience and share the excitement with you and B. Sounds like the comfy 'man chair' was a hit! I so totally agree with your philosophy about 'junk in, junk out' when it comes to what you expose yourself to. Let me live in my own little oyster and be happy. Take care...hope to get the rest of the stories soon! :-) July 28
	Jorgewrote: Miss seeing your writing. Hope all is well with you. J. July 25
	Cynical Psychologistwrote: Hi Edie, I'm glad to know that you're "good" busy and that moving into the new house is nearly complete. I was beginning to think you weren't visiting my Space because I had BO or something. It's also good to read that you are keeping your positive attitude, even if it is being positive that your home will slide into a sinkhole. I have the opposite problem and have almost completed the sale of my house, "as is" to the carpenter son of a general contractor. Actually it is a win-win situation. I would never be able to afford all the updating and upgrading that would be required to sell in the down market, and even if I could, it would be very iffy about making any kind of profit from the sale. On their end, they are getting a great deal. With sweat equity and free materials from Dad's warehouse, the value of this place will double what they are paying in two or three years. Four generations all came to look it over and all seemed to approve, from two great-grandmas to the three little people who chased the cats. It will finally be a home to a family again, as it was intended to be. I just have to figure out what to do with all the priceless "stuff" I have collected over the years that would have little if any value to others. May everything continue to go well for all of us. Peace, Doc July 22
	Davidwrote: I like that you smile at strangers; I kind of do that too, and I do often feel better at the end of the day when someone smiles or speaks. I have always loved those waitress with the stony names - Ruby, Crystal, Pearl, Jewel, Goldie and so on who call me 'Honey" or "Dear". Some people bitch about it, but it is about the only honeying I have gotten in a long time and I like it a lot. Tried, of course, to see if your house looked off-level fromm the pics but couldn't tell. While your concern about 'created' land settling is legit, as you say, what's done is done and you might as well wait till the time comes (it might not). I like that you think you were privileged, it is exactly the thing that makes me feel like my childhood was kind of golden when a lot of people would think it was pretty dysfunctional and harsh. I think having the attitude that you were privileged makes you kinder to others. My sister who became very wealthy and hardly had to do more than a year or two of outside work in her life saw her childhood as hardship and continues to feel put-upon, with no empathy at all for anyone who is REALLY worse off than her (it's their own fault); while I flatter myself that I am a good deal more compassionate as are nearly all my brothers, some of whom have about 10 cents in their pockets and nothing in the bank. I wonder if feeling lucky or unlucky, and not the fact of being lucky or unlucky is not a great divider in human personality. You are on the right side of that split; you are right not to let go of it. July 6
	Jorgewrote: I've been reading about the drought in your part of the country. I hope you get some relief soon. Be well, J. June 29
	Jorgewrote: I've been reading about the drought in your part of the country. I hope you get some relief soon. Be well, J. June 29
	Bettywrote: Hi Edie, I always find it is better to be busy with much too much to do than to be bored. Sounds like you have a full plate and enough to keep you happily occupied all summer. It will be fun, my friend. Yes, it is difficult to "grow up" and be responsible for one's own happiness, but it is rewarding and fulfilling. To meet one's partner on equal footing, having to hold your own and face the realities of life is not easy but if you can do that you will be the master of your own fate and the relationship will be just that a relationship. Enjoy life. Betty June 28
	Lwrote: The house will be just fine... a little bit of landscaping and it will be like you've been there for years. I think the kitchen looks great. Summer weather is always an issue when it comes to lawns, just give it time to get established and every year it will get a little bit better. Congrats, Lorna =) June 22
	CAROLwrote: PS PUPPY NEWS>> IT HAD BETTER BE GOOD PUPPY NEWS....LOVE THEM!! : ) June 20
	CAROLwrote: I am here and seeing the pics how great it looks I can only imagine your excitement at getting to making things the way you want them to be. Have tons of fun in your new place... Thanks for the PICS!!! Take care.. : ) June 20
	Bethwrote: Hooray for finally being in the new house! I will be looking forward to seeing the pictures. June 17
	Jorgewrote: Congratulations on having moved into the new place. I hope you never lose the positive outlook, or stop offering a helping hand. Be well, J. June 16

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