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3/27/2009 HE'S AMAZINGI have a friend, "C", who is going to have open heart surgery tomorrow morning. He's a wonderful person, so kind and caring... a good father, a good Christian, a good husband to his wife of almost 31 years, and a good friend to my husband since they were children. My husband, B, used to "run with" C's brother... they were inseparable for many years. When they got older and both had families and responsibilities, my husband (who was not my husband back then) went the way of drugs and drinking, and his buddy went the way of responsible adult, working and taking care of his family... they drifted apart. That was when B got closer to C... they partied together.
Years later, after they'd lost contact with one another, B found out that C was saved. For 8 years B had that knowledge in the back of his drunk and drugging mind. Every time he thought he'd like to get out of the party scene... every time he thought that maybe he could do it, he had C in his mind as proof it could be done... as an encouragement to making changes in his own life. Each time he heard about C it was good news... he was still going to church, he had his own business and it was doing well, his family was well and most of them were in church regularly... B could look at that and hope that one day he'd have the strength to ask God's forgiveness for the things he'd done in his life, and hopefully begin to live a good, clean, blessed life... like C was doing.
Oddly enough, after B and I found out I was pregnant on August 2, 2007, B admitted he'd gone back to drinking and drugging (which he'd been telling me he was NOT doing back then), and he said he needed God's help to stop, he couldn't do it on his own (he said this to get me to be patient with him and hang on with him hoping he'd change)... he said we were going to go to church. We didn't go... weeks went by. Then, finally, mid month, B woke me up one Sunday morning and said we were going to church. I said ok and got dressed... I asked which one we were going to and he said he didn't know... we'd just drive around and see where God directed us to go. OK. We got in the car and he started driving. We didn't drive around... we drove straight to New Haven Church.. DIRECTLY... no circles, no extra turns, no backtracking, no asking for directions or finding a flyer to guide us... GOD drove the car straight there.
I hadn't been in a church in years, and I was feeling a little apprehensive about going. From the second we walked in the door, I felt like I'd come home. Now, their practices during worship were very different from anything I'd ever dealt with before... these people shouted "Halelujah" and "Glory" and "Amen" all through the service... there were shouts of "Tell it Brother!" and "Oh yeah!" and "Come on!" during the entire service, from all over the congregation. When the Pastor was praying... out loud for the congregation, as I am used to seeing done in a Church, members from all over the sanctuary were praying too... OUT LOUD... as if they were the ones praying for the congregation... it was deafening... I could barely concentrate to hear the Pastor's words. Although this was confusing and a little... odd... to me, the feeling in the church was a loving one. The atmosphere was full of God... you could feel His Holy Spirit thick as fog in the room... it was almost as visible. All I could pray was THANK YOU GOD for bringing us to this church.
Even more amazing than the good feeling we got from everyone at this church were a few other things... first, the Pastor had known B since he was a child, and he was one of B's familie's best friends and closest spiritual advisors... B was immediately at home in his presence... second, B got a tap on the shoulder from someone in the pew behind us, and when he turned around to see who it was, it was C, his wife, and C's mother. WOW!! B was floored. He knew we were in the right place. I got goose bumps when B told me who they were and introduced me.
I had hope again... I thought, God surely had a hand in this... the service was unfamiliar and a little strange to me, but God wanted us there, I had no doubt... and if B was comfortable and happy, then only good could come of it.
Well, there's much more to the story after that, but this is about C... not the story of how B turned his life around. The point is that C was an integral part of it... he was involved even when he didn't know he was.
After we began going to church there regularly, we also started spending time with C and his wife and family. We took a trip to Gatlinburg together, and we went to Gospel concerts together, and out to dinner a lot, and they came over our house and we went over to theirs quite often... for a while almost every weekend.
I got close to them both. C's attributes of tender kindness, compassion, caring and loving disposition really drew me to him. He and I began talking more often... just by chance at first, he'd call to talk to B and B would be busy so we'd chat a while until B was available... then we'd offer to call one another to impart some information on one thing or another... then I was trying to understand things B was doing and C could see my unhappiness and he would offer me a shoulder to cry on (figuratively speaking), and some insight into B's actions that perhaps I hadn't thought of.
Well, to make a year long story short, C and I became close... as did his wife and myself... they were the only people I could really talk to... similar backgrounds and them knowing B almost better than I could know him... them being longer term christians than B and I, and therefore examples to us... lots of things just drew me to them over time.
Now C has 90% blockage in one of his ventricles of his heart. He's been in the hospital two days now, during which they first did an EKG which seemed fine, then to be sure they kept him and did a radioactive isotope nuclear stress test on him the next morning, which he failed miserably, letting the doctors know there must be some blockage, so they scheduled a heart catheter test for the following morning (yesterday), and he failed that one too... well, actually it wasn't a pass or fail, but a "how bad is it" test... they could have put a stint in then and there if it wasn't bad. It was bad... 90% blocked. So now he's scheduled for open heart surgery in the morning, and I feel terrible that I can't be there... I'm working until 7 am, at which time I have to take care of my baby, who is usually awake by then.
B is going to go to the hospital and sit and wait with C's wife... he didn't even want to do that and I stressed how important it was... B is jealous of my friendship with C... but then again B is jealous of my friendship with anyone who takes my time or enery away from him for even a second. He's so manipulative of me that he'll just keep saying snide things and making rude comments to me about something until he's got me doing exactly what he wants how he wants me to do it just so I can get him to shut up.
B can't stand it that I've pointed out C's good qualities that I admire to him from time to time as something B could learn from... it irks him... oh well. Perhaps if B worked on his qualities a little... gave me more attention... treated me with a little respect and didn't belittle me in front of other people... perhaps if B recognized my good attributes once in a while rather than always harping on my bad ones... so much so that he makes me doubt my self, then I wouldn't notices so markedly someone else who actually does recognize and SAY it, when I do something nice or special. Perhaps I wouldn't have to point out the marked difference in how they treat strangers... in what kind of friends they are... in how they treat their wives... or their children.
I don't care if B is jealous of C. That's his own problem. C and I have done nothing inappropriate... we have never stepped over the best friend's wife.... husbands best friend line... we don't meet for lunch or spouse bash or anything like that. I appreciate C for his qualities and insight into B's actions... I appreciate his advice and his sense of humor and love of God. I think he appreciates the same things in me. If B can't be a grown up and just deal with that, then too bad for him.
At this point in time, I'm afraid for my good friend, who I love very much. I am praying constantly for God to let C get well... for God to guide the surgeons hands in the morning and make them fix C's problems and for God to let him stay here on earth with his loved ones for a little while more. C wants to see his grandkids grow up... he wants to spend twilight years with his wife and family, and he wants to continue his ministry for God... please God, give him his wishes.
Selfishly, I pray, Dear God, please don't take C out of my life either... so many times his counsel and love has helped me through a bad time with B... so many times when I thought I was at the end of my rope I turned to C and he comforted me and told me to pray the pain away... C has helped me get closer to you, God... more than my own husband has... please don't let him die. These are my prayers for C... please God.. protect him, and whatever happens, let it be according to Your perfect will. In Jesus's name, Amen.
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